


Warning: Not Kosher

by uofmdragon



Series: Ultimate Spider-man Shorts [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012), Ultimate Spider-Man (Cartoon)
Genre: Cell Phones, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Reference to Animal Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 12:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uofmdragon/pseuds/uofmdragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter's back to normal, all that left is the debriefing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Warning: Not Kosher

**Author's Note:**

> Coda for Season 1, Episode 20, _Run Pig, Run_. Beta'd by Pyroblaze18.

Phil watched as the Asgardian hunters rode off into the night sky. He glanced at the team of his teenagers. "Good work team. Report to medical for any injuries and then we'll debrief."

"Seriously?" Parker whined. "Can I get some food first?"

"I think they're serving bacon in the mess," Coulson deadpanned.

Parker blanched at that, "I'll pass."

"Get to medical then," Coulson encouraged and the team headed off. Thor remained, coming to stand next to him. "Not injured?"

"Nay," Thor said.

"Did you alert the other Avengers?" Coulson asked curiously, because he hadn't seen any of them.

"Anthony had a meeting in the Land of the Rising Sun, and Clinton and Bruce accompanied him," Thor explained. "Steven and the Lady Natasha decided to take the train to DC to go to pay their respects to Steven's fallen brethren."

"Leaving you by yourself?" Coulson asked.

"Aye, we are at rest," Thor said. "I had planned to attend the feast with the Lady Jane."

"Is she in town?" Coulson asked.

"She is," Thor smiled.

"Then I suppose you'll want to debrief quickly," Coulson said.

"Aye, I heard the hunting horns and as they should not have been on Midgard, I decided to investigate," Thor explained. "Spider-man had already been transformed into his pig form."

"Do you know how?" Coulson asked.

"Judging by his return, I believe that Loki bespelled him," Thor mused. "Spider-man may be better able to explain himself."

Coulson nodded, "If he was bespelled, do you know of any way to counteract such a spell?"

Thor considered for a moment, "I do not."

"Since you are returning to Asgard and you've said your mother has mastered many magics," Coulson started.

"Aye, I will ask if she knows," Thor agreed with a nod. "If that is all?"

"One more thing Thor," Coulson hesitated, "Warn the others that Loki has been spotted and tell them what he's done—I think they need to be on alert."

"I shall," Thor agreed. He swirled his hammer, ready to fly off. "Though Son of Coul, perhaps it is you who should contact the Hawk Eye'd one."

"You're right, we need to talk, but I think it’s best if we do so in person," Coulson agreed.

"The longer this silence lasts the harder it will be to break," Thor said, before flying off.

Coulson watched him go and he knew that he needed to attempt to make contact with Clint. He headed towards one of the conference rooms and alerted Medical, so they could send the team up when they were done. White Tiger, Iron Fist, Power Man, and Nova were debriefed quickly, as they weren't around when Loki had first attacked. They came in and worked to protect the porcine Parker. 

Spider-man took longer, but then Coulson wanted to be sure of all the details. He wanted to make sure he knew what had happened and how to prevent it. He was surprised to find that it boiled down to, "In the future Mr. Parker, please don't accept food from people you don't know."

"I normally wouldn't, but I was hungry," Peter whined. "It's not like I can fit food in my suit."

"You carry a backpack, keep some granola bars in there," Coulson recommended. "You're dismissed."

By the time they were done, the helicarrier had made its way back to floating above New York. He was able to grab a quinjet and make his way back to the mainland, and his empty apartment. There still wasn't any sign of Clint, but if he was giving Tony back up in Japan, then he really wasn't expected. Coulson debated a few moments and then finally dialed Clint's phone. There weren't many places that Clint could go that he wouldn't get service.

It rang and then immediately went to voicemail, which meant Clint was screening his calls. He debated quickly about what he wanted to say while he listened to Clint's greeting. His warning was too important not to leave a message.

"Clint, I wanted to let you know that we had another Loki incident. He turned Parker into a pig by giving him a hot dog," Phil hesitated, unsure if he should say more, before finally adding, "Be smart Clint, I'll... I'll talk to you when you get back, okay? I love you."

Then he called Natasha and made sure she got the warning about the food.

"We'll be careful," Natasha promised. "Do I need to call Clint?"

"I left him a message," Phil answered honestly. "I guess he's busy."

Natasha muttered darkly, "I'll tell Steve, he'll want to call and give Stark the head's up."

"Thank you," Phil said, because he knew she was telling him this to let him know that Clint would be warned one way or another.

There was a slight pause, "Thank me by talking to him when he gets back."

"If I can get him to listen, I will," Phil promised.

"He'll listen," Natasha said, her voice full of threats.

"Thank you again," Phil said softly. "I will fix this."

"Good," Natasha said, before she hung up.


End file.
